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yea…i walked out …I tore pages in front of everyone …. no m not angry … punishing myself for being so dumb for trying n caring abt u ppl everytime .I’ll be heartless as I was always…even when u say thanku if I’ll call u  … go run away hide urself … freak out at me … shout out ur complains …m not gonna giv  a $^%*&)*_ at that ..I’ll do whtever I want to …. u ppl suck 

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Aa’nsuo’n Kay Rang

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Kaisa hota agar aa’nsuo’n kay bhi rang hote…
Kayi ra’ngo’n kay aa’nsu’n, jo keh paate unke hone ka karan…
Kitna aasaan ho jata sabko samjhana… 
Khushi kay aa’nsu’n gulabi, toh gham kay neele… 
Pyaar kay aa’nsu’n laal aur narazgi kay kaale… 
Sab ankahi baatei’n rang keh jaate…
Samjha jaate woh bhaav jo bataye nahi jaate… Samjhaaye nahi jaate jab shabd nahi milte… 
Kuch kaha nahi jaata aur nikal aate hain yeh aa’nsu’n… 
Toh kyo’n nahi bataya jaate ra’ngo’n se hi jo kaha nahi ja raha… 
Itne rang shayad thay nahi uske paas jo itni saari gehri-naazuk bhaavnao’n ko jhalka paate…

Kahi’n na kahi’n lagta hai sab sahi hi banaya hai usne… 
Sahi jagaho’n par rang bhara hai, berang cchod diya inn aa’nsuo’n ko… 
Taaki inke hote hue bhi koi dekh na paaye inhei’n,  samajh na paye hamei’n… 
Taaki na jaan paaye koi ki uski jeet pe aane waale aa’nsu’n khushi kay nahi balki kisi aur ki haar kay the… 
Ki uss din aankh tinke se nahi, nirashaao’n se nam hui thi… 
Ki ghar se aate waqt sirf doori se nahi, aa’nsu’n darr se bhi aaye the…

Jaanta hai woh, ki darta hai insaan… 
Chupta hai aur chupaata firta hai duniya se khud ko… 
Pehchan banana chahta hai par ek mukhauta pehne rakhta hai… 
Iss darr se ki kahi’n koi jaan na ley use, kaha’n aa’nsuo’n ki sacchayi dikha paayega…

Isliye berang reh gaye ye aa’nsu’n…

Accha hi hua ki aa’nsu’n kay rang nahi hai…

Little Bright

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I am writing this for you

because my people are few

pick up your pen and write

and that too something bright

m heartless n don’t know how one becomes lover

but want you to write something for her

smthing as beautiful as she is

and find words to express for you who she is

I know its tuff

coz your words are not enough

to match her care and love

but i know u’ll do it  🙂

Aside

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The day

The day came…its been a year now…. the night was horrible … it was supoosed to be a trip … a new start for our carrier n it ended very badly … i had talkd to him he wanted to help me like all of u were trying to … i thought i would die bt smthing unexpected happened … d day i got news i was confused … was not accepting what i had heard  iwas weak very weak but i was ready to run from dere to hug u …i wanted to b wid u … i cried a lot i lost my senses but u know like u were feeling alone i was alone too …noone hugged me consoled me i cried whole night …i decidedto b wid u to help u to make u feel secure …bt i failed every single day coz i was not able to handle my problems handle myself ….i hav not fulfilled my promises for u whts d use of living like dis ha! Yet i try everyday to boost u up …i became joker sister n everything u want for u .. i tried n i cried a lot for u ..u mean a lot to me dear … d day is worst for me too …every moment of tat day is flashing in front of me …m feeling d same pain which made me loose all hopes tat would survive…yet m smiling since morning cracking jokes for u n talking breathlessly coz i don’t want to go low i love u i care for u a lot i know its very hard for u bt think abt me too… nobody helped me tat day bt i promised to help u every sec … be wid me … try not to get failed try it for me fr ur mumma …its odd sem u know na …m scared n right frm d start of dis sem …u know ever reason for it …so help me help urself n b wid me to pass dis sem ..i dont want nything bad frm dis sem too … don’t depress me just hold me n try to understand what m going through … see today too noone is wid me …. ur not d only sufferer ..let us try together to pass dis day like every other day i too need u …i don’t reflect u know it very well when u ask me tat m not okay …u know i hav lernt it very well to hide …if u know everything den why ru hiding too …cry wid me …shoot ur anger on me i anna feel d pain i wanna cry n dont wanna hide it nymore …please don’t do nything today tat’ll make me go lower than u coz i loose myself easily 

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I’d  go back in time and can change it …pr kitna dur jaun … u’d always hated me  … now  m tired of trying bushi…i’d never missed u dis much before … i lost u ..i’ve lost d hope of getting u back …how unlucky I m !! I hate tat boy whom u love n care abt more than me … I hate love …m going mad … now i don’t want nyone to love me to take care of me …I want everyone to leave me like u left me …alone …with my dear haunting drmz …leave me

FIGHT

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Tum sab cheen lo mera saaaabbbbbb kitna chein milega na tumhe kitne mahan ho tum kitni zindigiyan tumse bheekh mangti h kitne shaktishali ho tum….. tum kuch bhi kar skte ho jo tumhe na puje na mane usse nasht kr do barbaad kr do majboor kr do ki vo gidgidaye tumhare samne or jo tumhe din raat puje uske sath bhi tum khel karo kyunki tumhe pata h ki vo itna pagal hai ki tumhare naam pr sab sahi maan ke seh lega vo.. thodi khushiyan uski jholi mein daal dete ho daya karke taki vo tumhara gulam bana rahe …muje koi daar nai hai ab mein tumhari shakti se darti nai pehle samman krti thi pr ab pata nai maan nai manta ab lagta hai tumhe guroor ho gaya h khudpe tum lachar banate ja rahe ho sbko kaun tumhe sabki zimmedari deke chala gaya hai !!

dikh raha h na tumhe mein barbad ho rai hun pata h muje abhi bhi meri halat kaiyon se behtar h mujse bhi zyada barbadi h logon ki kismat mein jisse vo jhel rahe h kitne khush ho na tum vaha . shayad ladne hi nikli thi mein tumse tumhe smjhane or tumne aisa akhel khela ki muje khud se hi cheen lia ab…. mere pass mein hi nai hun kamzor bana dia h tumne…. har kisi ki tarah mein bhi haar gai tumhare aage…. sab pa lia na tumne or mahan ho gaye tum or daar beth gaya sabke maan mein tumhara ….ab muje dekh kar kehte h vo ki jo tumhe nai poojta tumhara adar nai krta uska ye haal hota hai fir bhi mein kahungi baar baar muje aisi zindagi or aise mauke dete rehna mein baar baar tumse ladne niklungi baar baar harungi taki ek din sadiyon mein ek baar toh tumhe ye ehsaas dila sakun ki kahi tum galat the or fir bhi agar tum nai smjh paye toh smjh lena tum abhi tak haar hi rahe the kyunki baar baar haarke mein uthi himmat dikhai pr tum muje girane mein khud ko barbaad krte chale gaye khud ko bigadte chale gaye.

Abhi bhi tum muskura arhe ho pata h muje kyunki mein jo soch rahi hun mein jo likh rahi hun ye kisi tak nai pohochne vala koi mera vishwas nai krne vala itni bade bade shabd badi badi batein sabko natak hi lagengi ek buri soch lagegi vo muje mareez bana denge par tumhe yaad hai na mein fir koshish karungi…. darte ho na tum meri iss himmat se mere itne ziddi hone se isley fir palat ke or bada vaar krte ho…muje dhakel ke chale jate ho vapas uss kuein mein ..par mein tyaar rahungi har baar ki tarah …thoda jod ke rahungi khud ko tumhare agle hamle tak taki tumhe fir muje barbad krne mein maza aaye or tum khud ko barbadi k or kareeb le jao ………….